The spread of employee disengagement happens so slowly you might not even notice it at first. It might start with disinterest and progress into detachment before it grows into full-blown disgruntlement. A 2023 Gallup poll found that as much as 50 percent of the American workforce are “quiet quitters:” employees so disengaged that they are simply doing the bare minimum at work. It’s a psychological epidemic that puts managers in a tricky situation, leaving them to mind the gap between corporate expectations and workers’ reality.
So, in a world of remote workspaces, quiet quitting, variable schedules, and a multi-generational employee landscape, how do you avoid letting people slip through the cracks of disengagement? If you haven’t already, we recommend implementing a regular one-on-one check-in schedule.
While the one-on-one isn’t a fix-all, it can definitely help stop the slow slide into disengagement. Gallup identified five specific issues that led to employees feeling detached and disengaged at work. They were:
- Clarity of expectations
- Connection to the mission or purpose of the company
- Opportunities to learn and grow
- Opportunities to do what employees do best
- Feeling cared about at work
It’s clear that one-on-ones could help to resolve some of the most common grievances that less-than-engaged employees report. Of course, scheduling your one-on-one is only the start: It’s designing that meeting that gives you the most opportunity. Whether you’ve never had a one-on-one or you’re realizing that your usual agenda needs a refresh, Paul Fayad uses over 20 years of leadership to detail tips, questions, and common mistakes when planning out an effective, positive, and engaging one-on-one.
5 Tips for an Effective One-on-One
A one-on-one shouldn’t be just another item clogging up your calendar. If the manager seems disengaged from the process, the employee will follow suit. If we keep the main complaints in mind—employees aren’t clear on expectations; they don’t feel cared about—a bad one-on-one only adds to the problem. It takes a little prep, legwork, and a decent dose of humility, but taking the time to design your one-on-one sends a clear message to the employee: I’m all in and you should be too. Here are Paul’s best tips for creating impactful and engaging one-on-ones.
- Create a Shared Agenda
As a manager, you’ve probably created hundreds of agendas for various meetings in your time at the helm. An agenda for a one-on-one, however, should be slightly different. You want to send a clear message that it is set time for you and your employee to work as part of a team. Instead of creating the agenda yourself, set up a shared doc where you and your employee can add talking points, bring up issues, or prep for questions before the meeting. Your employee will feel heard and you’ll see a more organic structure. You can then use the doc to follow-up on past conversations and keep an organized list of topics you’ve covered: It keeps you both accountable.
- Be Flexible
You might have some specific topics you visit with each employee, but it’s important to ensure a natural flow of conversation with the individual with whom you’re meeting. Remember, it’s a one-on-one and you’re equally responsible for the meeting. Sometimes, sticking to a super rigid schedule or agenda could stop your employee from getting more in-depth with their wants, needs, and clarification. Let the employee direct the flow and, as long as you have regular check-ins, you can table some conversations for next time.
- Begin and End on a Positive Note
The “sandwich” method for putting critique in between compliments isn’t always our favorite for critical conversations, but your one-on-ones should always start and end positively. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to spend your time offering over-the-top praise: Positive feedback could also mean setting up goals and clearing up expectations for your next check in. Use this time to thank the employee for their work, let them know what they should continue, and how they can direct their focus and attention.
- Be an Active Listener
Ask open-ended questions that encourage your employee to share their thoughts and feelings. Being a positive leader means knowing to actively listen. Take notes, take responsibility, and be honest to set the tone for the type of listening and action you’d like to see from your employee.
- Follow Up
Whether it’s at work or your personal life, we’ve probably all had experiences where we’ve been upfront and honest with someone without seeing action or results in return. It’s frustrating and it’s deflating. That’s why the follow-up is often just as important as the one-on-one itself. It’s your chance to prove that your employee has been heard and that you care about their perspective.
After the meeting, follow up with a quick summary, your action items, and their action items. And then—this might be controversial—do what you said you’d do. And if you don’t do it, make sure you’ve got a reason. Keep the trust and engagement going by being the example of followthrough and follow up.
10 Questions to Ask During a One-on-One
If you feel like your one-on-ones are missing real, impactful conversation, it might come down to the questions that you’re asking. Skip anything with a yes or no answer and instead, rely on open-ended queries that invite opinion and ideas. Not sure where to start? Keep the common factors for disengagement in mind while you design questions that give you important insight into your employee and their place in your organization. Here are some of Paul’s favorite one-on-one questions to pick and choose from during your next tête-à-tête.
- What else can I be doing to help you grow in your career? Let employees know that you’re as interested in their professional trajectory as they are.
- How would you say we’re doing in working together as a team? A question with a positive slant helps build trust and gives an opportunity to reflect on what’s working.
- What is the biggest challenge you’re currently facing? This doesn’t necessarily have to be directly related to a specific project… or even work at all. You might learn that an employee is dealing with challenges outside of work that affect their performance.
- How is your workload right now? This gives you vital insight into how an employee feels about their contributions; they might be too much, too little, or just enough.
- How has your work-life balance been lately? Disengagement is common when employees feel like their leaders don’t care about them. Keeping work-life balance in mind demonstrates that you care about employees 24/7 and not just 9-5.
- What new skills would you like to be learning? Give your employee a chance to plan their next move. Keep them engaged by offering learning opportunities.
- What’s something I should stop doing? Accepting critique evens out the playing field.
- What’s our team not doing that we should be doing? As a manager, you might be missing out on the boots-on-the-ground perspective only employees can offer.
- What are three things that you’re proud of accomplishing in the last month? Wrap the meeting up with a chance for an employee to feel like a positive part of the team. And, make sure you acknowledge and thank them for their efforts.
- How’s everything going outside of work? Get personal! Give employees a chance to talk about anything that could be affecting them inside and outside of work.
One-on-One Don’ts
With a plan in place and some conversation starters in the bag, you’re just about ready to reframe the way you approach one-on-one meetings. They might not be perfect from the start, but simply implementing regular check-ins and showing that you’re willing to grow and learn already sets the tone for candor and growth. Now it’s just a matter of avoiding some of the most common mistakes we see in one-on-one conversations.
- Don’t Cancel. Make every effort to set time aside for your one-on-one and stick with that time. Canceling sends the message that other things are more important than open and honest communication with your employees and that they aren’t a priority. It feels like you’re disengaged… which makes them disengaged.
- Don’t Pull the Focus. It can be all too easy to slip into using a one-on-one as a catch-all for what your team needs or how you’re being affected. Remember that the one-on-one should always focus on the individual employee and the rest can wait or be allocated to other meetings.
- Don’t Get Distracted. It’s time to silence your phone and power down your computer: Getting distracted by other things during a one-on-one isn’t just rude, it could prove fatal to your employee’s engagement levels. They’re the priority, so carve out time and focus on them and only them.
- Don’t Take it Personally. While you definitely should focus on your employee’s personal thoughts and feelings, don’t take it personally when they offer feedback on your role. Accept their critique as part of an open and honest conversation and create goals and objectives that help you both improve. It doesn’t need to be a dump or complaint session, so you can direct the discussion to a more positive and proactive flow.
- Don’t Talk Too Much. You’re there to facilitate conversation, not monopolize it. Make sure the employee has ample time to talk and be heard: After all, it’s their meeting.
We know that you’re busy and stopping your work to conduct one-on-ones can seem like it eats into your time, but consider this: Lighthouse Research and Advisory estimates the actual cost of a weekly one-on-one to be $2,160 per year. The cost to replace an employee? Over $7K. Not only is it a good investment, but it’s one that could help you battle the spread of disengagement that seems to be threatening just about every industry.
A quick, 15-30 minute check-in gives your employees the floor to communicate clearly and honestly. As you listen, learn, and react, you send the right message to your entire workforce: Your voice matters. And that message? It’s worth every minute.
